Archive for June, 2008

George Carlin and Selling

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

Although the art thief and the photographer were very good friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture. – George Carlin

A comedian teaching sales professionals? Yes indeed! Because comedians, like authors & songwriters & sales reps MAKE MONEY WITH THEIR WORDS!

George Carlin was my favorite comedian – as a business humor writer, I’ve collected humor books and audios for two decades. I believe his masterpiece, Napalm & Silly Putty is the funniest book ever written.

Carlin died yesterday of heart failure in Los Angeles, after a lifetime of witty, sarcastic, often foul, but funny words from the stage where he performed for 50 years.

His word-crafting has inspired me use humor as a tool to train business professionals.

I’m praying we’ll meet again. Imagine hanging out forever with a guy as funny as Carlin.

I’m also praying that you sales pros pay more attention to your words, ultimately they make or break all the deals you get a shot at.

And they’ll be the focus of my next book which will open with the Carlin line above.

George Carlin 1937-2008; the laughter you generated will live forever, ringing in the ears of both men and angels.

Energizer Stupidity…

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

A recent sales horror story I experienced…

Bought small hard case Energizer flashlight for my kids’ camping trip. There were NO INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO OPEN IT to put batteries in.

So I undid screws on the body of the flashlight, all the time wondering how they could dress up the package with lots of bragging about how great the product was, but couldn’t help the buyer use it. So I took out the  screws – LIKE PROBABLY 10,000 OTHER (ex)CUSTOMERS. That did nothing, the thing didn’t even come apart.

So I WENT ONLINE TO FIND OUT HOW TO PUT BATTERIES IN THE FLASHLIGHT. A $10 purchase and I have to use the internet to find out how to use it?

THIS IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF CORPORATE STUPIDITY.

Way to go Energizer – thanks for providing the entertainment and an example of how not to do business.

Remember that energizer bunny commercial where the alien spaceship comes and takes the little rodent away?

We need that same spaceship to suck up the product marketing design people from Energizer. It’s for the good of the company and its customers.

Father’s Day – Good Catch!

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

No it’s not about playing baseball with my kids on the holiday.

It’s about catching a card my son designed before it hit the hands of his grandfather, my dad.

Josh can be creative and original at times and his created card on Father’s Day was a momentary highlight. In other words, the moment my wife and I saw it, I grabbed it to see it didn’t get seen by my dad.

“Your time is drawing nearer and when it comes…” The front of the card reads, and the picture is of a clock set at 5 minutes to twelve.

Inside reads, “You’ll sail onto victory!”

“Dad Paradise,” a sign, sits above two palm trees, with a grave laying between them.

Now any parent would be glad his kids believe in heaven and believe their family will be there to share the experience.

You just don’t want them to cheer their elders into the great beyond any faster than they’re already going.

I snatched that card (laughing, in contrast to my wife’s shock and horror) to share with you my sales friends and ask this question;

You know the clock is ticking, always ticking, don’t you?

What is it measuring? It’s a measuring device. It can be used to measure many, many things…

How close are you to closing that sale? Or how close to quitting your chasing of the prospect and walking away?

How close are you to success in your role? If you’re moving too slowly, your peers and bosses (or investors) might be looking at the clock wondering when you’re going to run out of time?

How close are you to maximizing your day? You have limited time to optimize performance and can’t afford to waste any of those ticking seconds on activities that don’t lead directly to new business.

The clock is ALWAYS at 5 minutes to twelve and we’re not talking about lunch, we’re pointing at midnight – the end.

How are you doing at noticing what time it is?