Posts Tagged ‘humor’

(Hilarious) Good at getting your meaning across?

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country.

Here are some recent “winners…”

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like socks in a dryer without Cling Free.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Whoa! Great entertainment, graphic images, but a painful expose’ on how poorly people communicate today.

How well do you get your meaning across? Linguists would identify your language as either “well-formed” or “poorly-formed.”

Be on the lookout for my new book, The Secret Language of Influence, later this year. Gain GREAT communication skills and improve your ability to lead, manage, sell, and most importantly, work with your personal relationships.

Anyone signed up for my ezine at will get first notification of the book launch.

Ballerina & Networking

Monday, October 26th, 2009

I’m at a local chamber of commerce meeting – my first visit – and I recognize no one in the room (I rarely do local events, since I work on a global scale). The President is doing announcements and having a drawing to give away tickets to the Joffrey Ballet at the Chicago Opera House.

I raise my hand with a question. A smile for the new guy and a nod says “go ahead.”

I smile back, and ask “If the ballerinas always have to stand on tiptoes to dance with the men, why not just get taller women?”

There’s this blend of awkward silence mixed with some laughter and people looking around to see who asked the really strange question.

But at the break a load of people came up to introduce themselves.

You’ve been to these events. It’s always the same thing – a bit boring; mediocre conversation; salespeople assaulting salespeople all the while hoping a buyer lurks somewhere in the wings.

So what really works in networking environments? Like a good direct mail piece (or crafty email subject line), you have got to make yourself interesting enough to have others pursue you.

Notice how so many coaching tips recycle back to the concept that YOU MUST DISTINGUISH YOURSELF from others with whom you compete? Humor does that well. Even humor that is 50 years old and has been missed by a generation (my ballerina joke is an old vaudeville line).

I encourage you to read funny, listen funny and watch funny. You’ll develop your own humorous personality and people will love being around you.

Don’t be surprised if your ability to sweep buyers off their feet with smiles and laughter doesn’t also increase your ability to close more sales.

Got Humor? Go get it, then get some more! That’ll make you a most memorable selling pro, guaranteed.

George Carlin and Selling

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

Although the art thief and the photographer were very good friends, neither had ever taken the other’s picture. – George Carlin

A comedian teaching sales professionals? Yes indeed! Because comedians, like authors & songwriters & sales reps MAKE MONEY WITH THEIR WORDS!

George Carlin was my favorite comedian – as a business humor writer, I’ve collected humor books and audios for two decades. I believe his masterpiece, Napalm & Silly Putty is the funniest book ever written.

Carlin died yesterday of heart failure in Los Angeles, after a lifetime of witty, sarcastic, often foul, but funny words from the stage where he performed for 50 years.

His word-crafting has inspired me use humor as a tool to train business professionals.

I’m praying we’ll meet again. Imagine hanging out forever with a guy as funny as Carlin.

I’m also praying that you sales pros pay more attention to your words, ultimately they make or break all the deals you get a shot at.

And they’ll be the focus of my next book which will open with the Carlin line above.

George Carlin 1937-2008; the laughter you generated will live forever, ringing in the ears of both men and angels.