Posts Tagged ‘selling’

(Hilarious) Good at getting your meaning across?

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country.

Here are some recent “winners…”

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like socks in a dryer without Cling Free.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Whoa! Great entertainment, graphic images, but a painful expose’ on how poorly people communicate today.

How well do you get your meaning across? Linguists would identify your language as either “well-formed” or “poorly-formed.”

Be on the lookout for my new book, The Secret Language of Influence, later this year. Gain GREAT communication skills and improve your ability to lead, manage, sell, and most importantly, work with your personal relationships.

Anyone signed up for my ezine at www.SalesAutopsy.com will get first notification of the book launch.

Christmas Collision – Flying Football Ends Sale

Monday, December 14th, 2009

GOING LONG FOR THE WIN
Edwin’s Incomplete Pass Ends a Sale

We’re calling on a major retailer during the holiday season.

We includes my trainee (whom I’m supposed to coach to be a super sales rep like me) and me, a super sales rep.

The headquarters store is huge, the company’s pride and joy. It’s decorated from top to bottom. Christmas trees sit on every floor, as do displays of Chanukah candles. Running on invisible fishing line down the length of each aisle are hundreds of spectacular glass ornaments.

In contrast to the anxious shoppers, my buddy and I are lighthearted. There’s a good chance we’ll be landing this company as a client. And if we don’t, holiday bonuses are coming our way anyway.

So it was with the joy of a school kid on Christmas break that I picked up a football and waved my trainee down the main aisle of the store. He jogged past shoppers, around some small displays and raised his hand signaling the fact that he was as open for business as the mega store.

I launched the ball toward my receiver.

Its arc took it toward an unseen wire and struck the slender obstacle, falling to the floor.

I watched in horror as the wire swung upward. It reached its peak and fell, 100 beautiful, delicate ornaments unhooking themselves, hovering momentarily in mid-air, then dropping to the ground.

Popping, shattering, tinkling – glass scattered down that aisle, showering shoppers and merchandise.

There was nowhere to hide. And nowhere to sell. The President of the company was on the floor, having come down to meet us. His only comment was (sternly), “Gentleman, call us after the season.” Of course they never returned another call.

POSTMORTEM: Edwin – Happy Holidays! Great visuals and sounds to the story. Question for Edwin & salespeople reading this; if you could play any sport in the world, then pick a teammate, who would you pick? I’ll bet nobody’s answer includes some 3rd grader who trips over shoelaces he or she could barely tie. What do you think your prospects would answer? Right, regardless of the sport, they’d pick the top pro out there. They want the same quality in vendors, the best pros out there. So act like a pro start to finish. And your sales call could end with the gift of a sale.

Chinese Elephant Kicks Heroin Addiction

Friday, September 26th, 2008

The world’s biggest drug addict has finally kicked the habit.

Big Brother, an Asian elephant hooked on heroin after drug traffickers fed him smack-laced bananas, is finally heading home after three years in rehab, Reuters quoted the Xinhua news agency as saying.

The bull, or male, was captured in the wild in 2005 in southwestern China by the bad guys, who controlled him with drugs.

Cops busted the gang a few months later, but then noticed the big beast was suffering from opiate withdrawal.

He was sent to a wildlife facility on the southern island of Hainan, where his treatment involved a year of methadone injections at five times the human dosage.

Big Brother, also known as Xiguang, was due to arrive at an animal park in Kunming, capital of Yunnan province, on Saturday.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,416684,00.html

Hey selling pro – what nasty habit do you have that is undermining your performance on the job?

These habits could be elephant big or tic tiny, but they all impact the money you make and take home.

One quick example; you get your day started 20 minutes late, let’s say 3 times a week.

That’s 52 hours a year – like taking a week vacation (without the fun & sun).

If you’re earning $100,000 a year you’re offering two grand to the Sleep Gods or Starbucks Demons or whoever causes you to slow up to show up.

So there you have it, we’ve discussed the elephant in the room.

What will you do about it? And when?

Quarterback Retires & Teaches a Sales Lesson

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

Dante Culpepper retired today from the NFL. His notice was sent by email and it’s has some fascinating wording in which is embedded a great selling lesson…

“I have been strongly encouraged from family, friends and league personnel to continue to be patient and wait for an inevitable injury to one of the starting quarterbacks in the league.

“I would rather shut the door to such ‘opportunity’ than continue to wait for one of my fellow quarterbacks to suffer a serious injury. Since I was not given a fair chance to come in and compete for a job, I would rather move on and win in other arenas of life.”

There’s a nice image – as soon as a competitor of mine has some traumatic disaster land on him the size of a 377 pound lineman, I get my turn.

Here’s your thought, sales pro – WHY WAIT? WHY WAIT FOR SOMETHING GOOD OR BAD OR INTERESTING TO HAPPEN. Just move on with your life. You know all those prospects who’ve been hanging you out to dry for months and months and more?

Move on. If you can’t help someone else make a decision, you can’t help them at all.

Move on. Your time is precious and you respect yourself when you treasure time enough to make decisions based on this truism.

Move on. There are great opportunities awaiting your attention.

Good luck Dante, we’ll be watching to see where your toughness and talent get you more success and new adventures.

And reps, start thinking about every situation you’re in and whether you should Move on.